Moving to Maui
Aloha kāua. It has been some time since we met here, you and I, on a page. This story that yearns to be free has been sitting still at my fingertips for many months. I meet you here with bated breath- thank you for receiving me and I welcome you back.
Since my last post in May, there have been a couple of new updates. To begin, my beloved Nana, Bernice Lo’e Park has transitioned from this life to one she now shares with my papa and their sons. Nana prepared me for her passing. She spent the most time doing this as we made lei together. Little did I know, she was teaching me how to come back to her. In every ti leaf, I see the potential of her lei. In every action, I see the potential of her love. Through her blood, I know I can be someone beautiful, just as she was.
The next update is that my time with the U.S. Peace Corps has come to an end. Everything a person does is created twice- once in the mind, and once in its execution. I spent over a year preparing to be a volunteer. And when the time came, there was nothing that I had done to truly prepare for what was tucked away within the Blue Mountain foothills of Jamaica. I now have family on a new island, access to a new language, friends across the map, and memories that stay sweet in my mind. The intensity of my experience taught me much and continues to teach me, even now, as my life unfolds. Even though I may only come across these people and these places once in my life, these encounters hold such a special place in my heart. I am forever grateful for these beautiful memories and lessons learned.
It has taken me some time to learn this little secret of the universe: nothing repeats, but the patterns are exactly the same. Your new life is going to cost you your old one. It will cost your comfort zone and your sense of direction. It will cost you relationships and friends. It will cost you being liked and understood. Burdens and blessings are not mutually exclusive. I’ve spent most of my young adult life in preparation. Always preparing. Always planning for the next endeavor, the next task, the next country, the next job. I think about traveling the world, filling my ipu with the waters, food, stories, and songs of nations so that when it is my turn to quench thirst, fill a belly, or teach a lesson, I will be able to rise to the occasion with what I have strapped on my back. All the friendships forged and family created on this journey have come to “a hui hou”. But all endings are also beginnings. We just don’t know it at the time. My quest of mālama hōnua continues to teach me that every challenge carries the seeds of opportunity to learn, love, and grow in awareness.
Hawai’i has cradled me since birth, inspiring and growing my mind and senses. I have spent much of my time away from here only to discover my own thirst, profound and ancient. I am eager to dig deeper into my own foundation.
I have accepted a mahi’ai job in upcountry Maui. My ‘ohana has members amongst many of the Hawaiian islands. It has been a joy to know Maui through loving them. Their kindness and generosity have received me well. My sister and I are the youngest among our cousins and their families. While they grew up together, we were too young to remember. Sometimes I feel like that is my purpose; to know my family, to unite us through love. I imagine an arrow stringing through all of our islands, uniting us, drawing us in. I think that is what Nana did. She grew all of us, a love that knew no bounds: Aloha. Throughout her life, she brought our ‘ohana together. Through her death, she continues to do so. I think of her every day. On my drive home from work, I wonder if she can see it. When I pick puakenikeni, I ask her if she can smell it. And when I feel the makani wrap around me and open my eyes upon my new home- Haleakalā to the east, Mauna Kahalawai in the west- a bright feeling burns within my chest and I ask if she can feel it.
I wonder if my journey of mālama hōnua is actually a profound search for Aloha.
